It’s Friday
the 13th. There’s going to be another one in exactly three months but guess
what’s so special about today? It’s all about me! It’s my birthday! For the
past 25 years, I grew up being excited about my birthday each year but today I
feel different. I feel weird. I feel like I am in a dilemma about whether I
should feel old or young. I seriously wasn’t expecting to be in this situation
for my quarter century. I hope to find an answer to my question in the new
chapter that has just opened in my life. Today’s topic will be all about me, so my
dear readers, please bear with me until you can.
Before
starting this blog, I used to read positive quotes once in a while and I’d be
positive for a short time and then I’d get back to my confused thinking world.
I don’t know for how long this had been going on with me but my thinking was
just never straightforward. After I started this blog, a lot of confusion disappeared
from my mind and I was finally able to see the bigger picture about my life.
Things have definitely got better for me than where I was a decade ago or even
a year ago. The word “magic” was never part of my dictionary but this year, I
feel like some magic happened and since then, my life is getting back on track.
I remember I used to complain a lot over little issues not only because I
didn’t do much to change situations around me but rather because I grew up
believing that it’s not right to keep anger inside of you. I’d only feel
peaceful once I’d throw out my angry thoughts. However this year, I must say
that I am proud of myself for not complaining that much. Everything will never
be under my control so I realized that I should accept things that I cannot
change and for the rest that can be changed; I should simply go ahead and do my
best to change them.
Beside
blogging, I’ve accomplished some great things which helped me discover the
hidden strength I had inside of me. Nonetheless the true credit behind my
little achievements goes to a lot of people who were and are part of my life this
current year. In other words, I am talking about those who were with me on a
daily basis. Without them, I wouldn’t have got this far. I learned this year
that it’s not right to force people to make them stay in your life, so I
happily let those who needed a break from me take their break. At the same
time, I think I also needed that break so the equation is balanced. To my
complete surprise, I reunited with some old acquaintances that I thought I
would never get to see again. I was very happy to see them because they either
made me change my way of looking at things for the better or they showed me a
direction to start a new life. Apart from them, I even saw my coworkers, who
are not just coworkers anymore but mean a lot more to me, bringing the best out
of me by pushing me to new experiences whether it was a personal or
professional one. I always enjoy being nice to others because I myself like to
be treated nicely but here I feel like I was rewarded with more than I even
gave.
There’s a wonderful
saying by Lao Tzu that I want to share with you: “being deeply loved gives you
strength; loving deeply gives you courage.” This is what I recently experienced
and the feeling was indeed beautiful. When you meet people, you never know when
you touch their heart and this was my case too. I didn’t know that I was
special to many until they came to me with “There’s a better path waiting ahead
of you.” I think I was so busy in my daily life and I had reached my comfort
level that I just didn’t bother stepping out of my comfort zone until many
pushed me to take time to think about myself. Only then I realized that just
like I don’t always show my love to people, there are many who love me as well
even if they don’t always show it. I’ll repeat this again but maybe I just
never opened my eyes to see who truly cared about me and when I did, it felt
like magic one more time. Back to the quote I shared with you, I think it’s
because of people who love me and care for me that I was never able to give up
on life, despite how negative things seemed in my life. It’s just amazing! As for me, you could have guessed it by now, I
get attached to my world and since people were made to be respected and cared,
I don’t see why I wouldn’t love them. Furthermore, loving people has taught me that
I have gathered a lot of courage to fight any struggle that may come on my way.
They believe so much in me that even if I wanted to give up, I wouldn’t give up
for their sake. Whoever said your worth increases with time was right and I am
happy that I got to experience that at this stage of life.
Sometimes
good things fall apart so better things can fall together. It’s such a simple
statement and yet it took me several years to understand it and believe in it.
Nothing lasts forever. Everything is relative. People who were once so close to
us turn into distanced friends and those who didn’t mean a lot to us in the
past become a big part of our present. Maybe life was always like that and I
just opened my eyes now but whatever it is, now I know everything happens for
the better. It feels like I am seeing the calm after the storm. One single
tragedy changed my life almost a decade ago and now that I look back at the
many little good changes that happened as years passed by, I feel like I have
reached the top of a mountain called “Happiness”. I am also happy that those
who caused me grief are no longer part of my life and those who are with me
today are the ones who really matter. To be honest, my success today would mean
nothing if I couldn’t share the happiness I get from it with those who’ve given
me hope or have supported me.
I am truly
excited for the new chapter that has started for me and I am mostly happy that
a lot of confusion has been cleared from my mind. In brief, “When something bad
happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it
destroy you or you can let it strengthen you.” I kept saying that bad
experiences define me but the truth deep down was that those experiences had
been strengthening me. The picture is finally clear to me today and I think my
new life starts from there...
