Sunday, September 14, 2014

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

One of the realizations I made in my life journey is to think positive which then attracts positivity towards you. I may be wrong but I still see a lot of people’s opinions about how this fact is not true. However from my experience of just a year ago when I decided to get on this positivity mission, I have to admit that most of the good things that happened to me were based on my positive thinking. Today, I would be really happy if I can help anyone to change the quality of his or her life by simply starting to have positive thoughts in mind.

Reading positive quotes everyday has made a major impact on my life. It’s unbelievable how often I happened to read an inspiring quote to calm down myself for every little negative issue in my life. Or I would just have a dear one sharing an inspiring quote with me just to make me feel better and/or to have me keep going on in life. Then instead of focusing my energy on my problem, I was rather carried away to think deeply about the positive quote and this then just led me to find a peaceful solution to my life’s issues. They always say that you should do what makes you happy and not what you think is right. I believe there’s something in between these two and that’s peace. Being happy and sad is part of life and sometimes, it’s just not doing things that make you happy but doing things that make you peaceful can also take you to happiness. Therefore, next time when you see a positive quote, take a moment, breathe and try to see if what you just read can solve a current issue in your life, can help you think more positive or can help you become a better person than who you were yesterday. This advice may seem useless but remember that every minute spent on thinking positive adds up to a lot of positivity in your life, so have faith in this little mindful exercise.

When it comes to your goals whether they are on a personal or professional level, having a positive attitude can help a lot. Speaking of myself, I used to doubt myself a lot in the past as to whether I’ll achieve my goals or not, but I always put as much effort as I could and I stay focused towards them. This way, my combined positive energy has outweighed my fear of not succeeding and this has eventually led me to the doors of success I have been looking for.  I still look back at my achievements and still acknowledge the fact that what seemed impossible turned out to be possible. Do not mistake having a positive attitude with being over confident. Giving your best or trying as much as you can does not necessarily mean you’ll always reach success. It’s very important for you to be flexible and understand that in the case of failure, you shouldn’t over-think about your efforts going into waste, just let it go as you cannot control every single thing of your life. Some things are just not meant to be and we cannot have everything we want the way we wish for. Therefore, take the time appreciate what you achieve and be proud of all of the little efforts you put in towards them. Having a positive attitude towards your goals can be actually translated as to how you value your goals and how much you care to put the necessary work to reach them. Be honest with yourself and set goals that make you happy on the long term.

One of the most beautiful things about life is that we are surrounded by people and as they say that your travel destination is not important but rather who you are with makes a huge difference. If you want to be treated nicely by others, start by treating others nicely. Don’t wait for the other person to do a kind gesture for you first because the actual winner is always the one who makes an initiative. I’ll share a personal fact about myself here. I genuinely enjoy lifting up people’s spirit because I like to make people feel important in this world and at the same time, I acknowledge their presence in my life. I compliment others and I remind them regularly about the good human beings they are. I also take the time to be happy of their progress in life when a new chapter of their lives starts. The reason why I do this is because some of them have inspired me to be like them (develop more confidence, be open-minded, stay relaxed, etc) and I am aware that life is just not about me and in fact, everyone has a right on their share of happiness, so why not emphasize on their efforts for their personal goals as well?

A lot of people seem surprised when I have nice words to share with them but I try not to over-think about them thinking that I may be just spreading those words to make myself look good. I try to choose my words carefully (but I’m not always successful) and if it makes a positive impact on that person, I call that a “win” because when I’m given a compliment, I acknowledge it and try to ensure that quality stays with me as it’s part of the good human being I strive to be. On the other hand, I have people in my life who do thank me for constantly encouraging and/or complimenting them because they need those reminders at times to keep going on. I can totally relate myself with them because it’s not the attention from the others that I seek but it’s rather that every kind word from others motivates me to try to become a better human being day after day. That being said, be positive towards others and you will see most of them will give you back that positive energy and you’ll be just filling each other’s lives with positivity. As for those who can’t acknowledge your little kind gestures, don’t hate them (negative energy), let it go (positive energy that can be used to make someone else happy) and hopefully those who can’t appreciate your presence in their lives will get a lesson from your absence (or rather the absence of your kind gestures) in their lives one day.

One rule of thumb I want you to remember in all the ideas I have shared is that this exercise of “positivity attracts positivity” will only work if you believe in it. It doesn’t hurt to try. Forget the person filled with negative thoughts that you were if you have been one. Just get started whenever you want to and think about happy things as often you can, say positive words, turn negative thoughts into positive ones. You've had a bad day; just remind yourself that it’s just a bad day and not a bad life. The quality of your life will only change if you are positive toward life. Our thoughts have a lot of power, more than we realize it and that’s why it’s important to fill our mind with as much as positivity as we can. I’ll bring up another simple personal example: I grew up thinking that I was unlucky for contests since I was a kid and before every draw, I’d tell people around that “I never win in these things.” When I stopped carrying the idea of “I never win contests” with me about a year ago, it’s silly but I have been winning prizes at different draws, and people around were amazed and would tell me that I am one lucky person. I really don’t know if it was luck or not but I did realize that the more I think in an optimistic way, the more I allow positive opportunities to catch me. It’s just that simple!

I think I have covered pretty much the main ideas I wanted to share about how your thoughts create your reality. It’s not an easy exercise, it takes times and if you are honest to yourself, chances are that you’ll get the positive life you dream for yourself. Being positive does not mean that you should be always giving away positive energy around. Know your limits and if something does not work the way you want it to be, try not to have negative thoughts about it or if you do, remind yourself that you have to let go of what you can’t have full control over and it’s time to move on to the next page. Your thinking will always play a crucial role in the unfolding of events in your life, so don’t underestimate the power of any little positive thought. Also distance yourself from any negativity. To sum up everything in one line, I’ll refer you to Marcus Aurelius’s words: “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Change your thoughts for the better and then just watch your life changing...

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Get Inspired By Your Parents... And Keep Going For Them

Have you ever had a day or been in a phase where you just felt like nothing around you was fine and as you get drown in your thoughts, you felt like you have no energy to keep going in life? I don’t know the depth at which you’ve had such emotions but recently I got questionned as to what would be that one reason why I’d not give up on my life. I answered “my parents” to that. I am aware that there is negativity going around in real life and sometimes we think that just because we are far from how the average society lives, we think that giving up on our life is the solution. It’s really not. Life will always have its ups and downs but as the saying clearly states: the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why (by Mark Twain). To find out why you exist, you need to keep going in life, show patience toward life and believe that you exist here for a purpose.
Meanwhile, I believe your parents should be that one reason you move forward in life regardless of whether you have them with you or not. I won’t go in the details of how your mother might have carried you in her womb for nine months and/or how your father had to take care of your mother so that no harm was made to you as you breathe through your mother’s breath. We all know that that’s one huge struggle but what’s even bigger than that is all that your parents, two ordinary individuals, gave up to give you a life and to dedicate all their time and energy on you even before you were born. I know I am not the only one in this world but as years pass by, I realize how my parents really had to forget about their own wishes and give most of their time to raise me and take care of me and this goes on for a lifetime. Sometimes, parents forget "who they are" and how they want to live their lives just to give the best from the best to their children. Don’t think about giving up on your life when things get hard, think about what your parents gave up to make of you the person you are today. Always keep in mind that your life belongs more to your parents than you actually owning it.
I know that as we grow up, we tend to push ourselves away from them because they sometimes act like obstacles when we want to try certain experiences on our own and this sometimes create such big rifts between us and our parents. Nonetheless, behind this love-hate relationship we develop with our parents, the latter never wish for our bad, cannot see us falling down in life and will also cover for our mistakes at times because that’s really how parents show their love to us. We’re all growing, so are they. We need them so much when we are new to this world until we learn to become independent. As we distance ourselves from them, their thoughts about life change and it’s no longer what they sacrificed to bring us in the world that matters to them but all they want is to stay near us as they grow old.
It’s a privilege for most of you who have both of your parents. It’s a real blessing to have both your parents and you can trust my words because you cannot imagine how much I dream I had my father to see both my parents standing next to each other and to be able to make them feel that having me is one of their biggest rewards for all that they sacrificed for me. Even as of today, I feel like I get less sad about not having my dad but it hurts me much more when I hear that someone around is behaving like a stranger toward one or both of his or her parents. This is a situation I could never control because in trying to do so, I’d be an obstacle in their way and it’s supposed to be none of my business. It’s sad unfortunately. So if you can get the essence behind what I just tried saying, don’t take your parents for granted. There are so many, including me, who would trade their life just to get a life with both their parents.
Regardless of whether you have both your parents or just a single one, there are tons of ways to let them know that you realize what they mean to you. I feel slighlty guilty for advising this because I know that my mother and I almost never say “I love you” to each other because I sometimes tend to create trouble to her and I kind of carry a hate love relationship with her. Nonetheless it’s what I do more than how I express myself via negative words that counts and I do share a healthy and safe bonding with her. I don’t know how your circumstances are but I find that my situation is complicated and sometimes I feel like I need to confide my feelings about my mother to a third person, most often to my neighbours who share my mom’s age, and it’s only through them that my mom really gets to find out my genuine feelings for her. My sister, on the other hand, barely causes trouble to my mother, so my mother responds more positively to her in terms of communication. And as for my brother, being the kid he is, it’s easier for him to hug and kiss my mother anytime he wishes. We’re three siblings, loved by one mother and all three of us just convey our love in three different ways, and that’s it.
I could carry on and on on this topic because there is just so much to get inspired from our parents’ journey. When you get disheartening thoughts on your life because of whatever reasons, try to forget your insecurities and put yourself in your parents’ shoes. If you can feel their pain, I am sure you wouldn’t want to add more pain in their lives, so learn to take care of yourself at least for their sake. Take care of them, love them and show them that you’re not missing anything to be happy in life. Nothing makes parents happier than to see that their children are having a good life after all that they sacrificed.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Building A Positive Attitude To Engage On Social Media

“Welcome to Facebook. The place where relationships are perfect, liars believe their own bullshit, and the world shows off they are living a great life. Where the enemies are the ones that visit your profile the most, your friends and family block you, and even though you write what you are thinking, there is always someone that takes it to the wrong way.” I don’t know who came up with this and why but the first time I read it, it entertained me a lot. The second time I read it, I found it sarcastic. As I read it over and over, I felt like there was more negativity in it yet it describes  a lot of today’s reality. Social media is starting to take too much space in our lives. As much as there is positivity circulating on it, there is unfortunately that much of negativity on it also. My purpose in writing this post is to hopefully help some of you control all of what you've been absorbing from these social media networks.

Social media has its advantages when it comes to sharing information. You might be using it for good reasons such as getting updates on your interests. If you like to get the latest updates on sports, celebrities, fashion, seasonal activities, etc,  go like/follow those pages! They are well designed mostly because of a professional staff handling them. Using social media to gain more information on what you like is a good motive. Speaking of myself, social media has played a big role in my life because of its usefulness when it comes to discovering more about things that are of my interest.

I believe the biggest reason why social media is here in today’s world is obviously to make it easier for us to connect with people. That surely doesn't replace the human interaction you can have with people but if you can respect a friend’s time and thoughts dedicated to you as he or she connects with your virtually, it’s probably the least you can offer to someone if both of you are busy in your respective world. If you are one of those who always gets your way to see the ones you want to see, then good for you. You can stop reading here. Otherwise if you are busy among your personal issues and responsibilities, I don't see anything dramatically wrong in connecting virtually. I know that I connect with people virtually as I feel the need of it at times and I do satisfy myself with that if I am really not in the possibility to meet up with someone in person. That being said, it’s not because some people are not in my present that I don’t think about them. On the other hand, I’d be still thinking about them regardless of social media existing or not, but if social media can help me let them know that I think about them, I don't see why I would stop myself.

As for what’s presented to you via social media from friends, I think a lot of people don't understand or misunderstand that they're just getting the highlights of how people are living in their little world or at what stage they are in life. Nowhere are you getting other details related to those updates posted by your friends. People are not plugged 24 hours on 24 on the web to post their updates every few minutes. So there is absolutely no need to assume that people who share their happiest moments have a perfect life or are just showing off how much of a good life they have. People's intentions as they share their updates can be so much different than you just judging them for having intentions of showing off. 

As a matter of fact, I know that social media has affected some people around me negatively because they absorb too much on what’s presented to them and don’t really think about the hidden details behind someone posting happy updates. If you are living a happy life, then why would you need to compare your happiness to others? And on the other side, why do you need to judge others by thinking that those who are posting their happy updates are just showing off? I know this is easily said but might be tough to do it and that's why I want you to think on both ends and for you to understand that you shouldn't have to compare your happiness to others whether it's to put yourself down or put others down. I look for positive intentions behind people’s happy updates just because there is enough negativity in the real world, so why spread negativity on other people’s posts via social media? As much as there are chances of someone faking their happiness on social media, there are that many chances that that person is sharing his or her genuine moments. Why act like a hater?

Another of today’s unfortunate reality is that sometimes people are just waiting to create problems with one another on social media. They won’t make much efforts to truly appreciate your good posts or dedicate any genuine good thought to you but will take the wrong meaning by some of your posts. Instead of really staying away from your page, they will simply not miss any opportunity to write a sarcastic comment on your page sadly. This can be a frustrating situation for anyone as it's hard to control people's negative thoughts. I don't know what the best solutions are to deal with this but I definitely recommend the following: either to ignore the comment or to turn that sarcastic comment into something positive by replying to it in an entertaining way if possible. Social media is just not the place to create problems with anyone or to behave mean with someone. If your problem with someone is a real life issue, then try to resolve it by contacting the person in real life instead of clicking the "like" button or commenting for sarcastic reasons. Keep in mind that real life relationships should not be messed up via social media.

To conclude this post, I would just like to remind you that when you engage yourself on social media sites, it’s primarily your responsibility to pick what you want to absorb and what you don’t want to. Don’t destroy your mental peace because of social media. Don’t use it to put yourself down or to silently hate someone; use it with a good purpose such as for healthy entertainment. Also remember that being on social media is not at all an obligation to live in today’s society. There are still people who are not at all on any of these social media sites. I hope you are fortunate enough to have at least one such person in your life because that person will be enough to make you realize that he or she doesn't exist on Facebook for anyone and yet is making a living outside of social media. Enjoy social media safely!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Happiness Is A Choice

The key to be happy in life is to think happy thoughts. It's such a simple statement and yet it may take years or decades to get it right. It's alright. Take your time if you want. Once you'll grasp the idea behind it, you'll be in a new world. As we often hear, the happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything. Ask yourself this question: Do you feel happy with how much you have as of today or do you constantly feel like you're missing something to truly feel happiness wherever you are. If your answer is the first one I stated, then you are definitely someone who knows how to make the best of what you get no matter the circumstances in your life. Otherwise, if your answer is the second one, you need to stop looking at what you can't get control of and learn to appreciate what you have. I think one can find happiness through life's experiences and with people who belong to his or her world.

Experiences are those that enrich us throughout life. There are different stages in life to go through. Each of them is filled with ups and downs and you go through a bunch of emotions like feeling nervous, excited, relaxed, sad and happy. All this helps you learn about your likes and dislikes. The adventures that bring pleasure to you are most likely going to be experiences you will want to re-live or move forward with the next ones. For those that don't go well, too bad for them. One of the best things in life is that there is so much you can try out and that list is endless. You just have to be willing to give your mind the peace and satisfaction by trying out what you want. As they say, if you don't try, you'll never know. I don't know if it's right for me to say but we all have desires, needs and wants. Sometimes, little efforts can make us achieve the experiences we dream of.

I'll bring in a personal small experience to explain what I am trying to say. There were and still are so many things I could have done at a younger age but sometimes due to the direction of my life and/or lack of motivation, I couldn't always take every opportunity that would knock on my door. As I grew up, a second chance was given to me. The decision was mine: take the opportunity or let it go. I think the last of my best experiences in 2013 was to take part in a group dance performance of one minute in front of 900 people of which I knew about less than 25 people. It was just a one minute challenge and yet it required a few hours of practice, motivation, enthusiasm and passion. I got very nervous on the actual day and was carrying the feeling of fear throughout the day. I managed to smile while I danced but it's only at the end of my performance that I could feel that tremendous happiness I was waiting for. That one minute dance turned into such a beautiful memory for me to cherish for the rest of my days.

As for the people who surround us, the good part is that we obviously love those who belong in our present. There's no doubt about it. One thing that is crucial to live a happy life is to understand that we'll only have people in our present that we can contribute to their happiness and deal with their pain and similarly they are the ones who can contribute to our happiness and support us in our hard times. Speaking of myself, my present is all about my mother, my siblings, a few of the elders from my mom's family, a few younger cousins, some good and sincere friends and my coworkers. These are the ones with whom I share my daily little joys and sadness and vice versa, they share theirs with me. We always try to make each other feel better because that's the way to a positive spirit.

Then there are people who are not part of our present but had once been part of our life. They happen to cross our paths once in a while and our perception towards them can totally make a difference in whether we want to stay happy and on good terms with them. From my observations, I've had some situations where I ended up being just a complete stranger for someone just because I was no longer part of their present as my priorities had changed along with the stage of life I was at. That's fine. I had to move on, so I did and instead of getting hated or hurt by someone, I have usually ended up accepting being a "nobody" for such people. However, there's always the possibility of happiness on the other hand if we decide to stay on good terms with our good old buddies.

I have another personal situation to bring here: when things are under control in my life, I truly love being part of people's lives whether they belong in my little world or not. There's always energy in me and I get excited for any occasion from small to big because being able to add any sort of happiness to someone's life always makes me happier. With all the daily and typical issues in my life, I take whichever opportunity I get to give happiness to whoever I can because that is the least of a positive spirit that I can spread. As I grew up, I realized that there is absolutely no guarantee as to how often I can be there to create happy memories with others, and the best thing I can do and that I have been doing since about more than a year with sincerity, is that I put in my whole heart wherever I am and with whoever I am. There's nothing more unpleasant than being surrounded by people who are not enthusiastic when there's a get together whether it's between two people or more. Happy memories are created between people by putting everyone's positive energy and passion all together. 

I know I cannot speak on behalf of everyone and that's why I am nowhere imposing you to live by my words but this is just my perspective on how I see people who are not part of my life on a daily basis. Sometimes our priorities in life can be so different from someone else because of the different stages of life we are at, but that shouldn't mean that we have to say goodbye to each other. I chose happiness and I put the minimum efforts I can to not make any of my well-wishers feel like outsiders in my life. However, I will admit that when I am in situations where I do take a few initiatives and someone has that attitude that he or she doesn't care or that they don't see my good intentions behind my initiatives, I respect myself enough to no longer make those initiatives and obviously stay away from his or her zone of happiness. As much as the other person has a right to be happy without me, I allow myself to be happy in my world as well.

Happiness is a choice. There's no one better than you to know what's best for you such as the wisdom certain experiences can bring to you and what type of memories you want to create with the people in your life. Be optimistic. When life gives you a second opportunity, take the time to understand that second chance, listen to your instinct and go after it. Build happy memories with people even if it's for five minutes of your time instead of looking for reasons to create issues with them. Let go of what you can't control. Be happy. Make that choice. As you'll recognize and appreciate what you have, you'll attract more happiness in life. Just start believing in happiness...